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"The Athenian authorities were wrong when they sentenced Socrates to death. The Inquisitors were wrong when they condemned Galileo Galilee. You are similarly wrong for subjecting me to torture and prison merely because of my beliefs and opinions. You have two choices: either sentence me to several years in prison or resign from your job!"   

These were the last words of my defense in a Turkish martial court after the 1980 military coup. I was a 23 year old author and political activist: indoctrinated, religious, idealistic, daring, naive, and fanatical... The judges chose the first option after the first hearing. A six year prison term was the official response to my two published articles promoting establishment of an Islamic government!  

Several lawyers had volunteered to defendme in that trial. They wanted to reinterpret my articles; but I refused such a defense. It would have been shameful and hypocritical of me to let them misinterpret my position in order to save myself. I was going to share the same room with murderers, burglars, thieves, drug smugglers, and terrorists for at least four years. Overpopulated prisons, dark and humid wards, cruel and corrupt guards, psychopathic and paranoid inmates, physical and mental torture. . . All left scars on my young and idealistic mind. During those four years as a political prisoner, I prepared myself as an author to promote the establishment of a theocratic government.  

I was directly involved with crucial political and religious issues since I was a first year student in the Middle East Technical University in Ankara. During the late 1970s and early 1980s I was on the leadership committee of a youth group affiliated with the National Salvation Party which was re-named the Welfare Party after it was banned by the Military Court in 1971. The Welfare Party, after winning the elections, was again abolished in 1998, this time by the Constitutional Court.   

Before my prison adventure, I secretly established cultural cooperation between the government of Iran and my political youth group during the so-called Islamic Revolution. I worked closely with the Muslim Brotherhood of Syria and Egypt, studying the ideas of modern-day Islamic proponents. As a proponent of Islamic traditions and laws which were in conflict with Turkey's idiosyncratic secular regime, I began writing articles in national magazines and was active in political demonstrations and meetings. This period lasted through the night of the military coup of September 12, 1980.  

After my release from prison in late 1983, I planned to continue my college education. But, to my dismay, I discovered that I had been banned from all Turkish universities. Nevertheless, I kept writing books on politics, religion, philosophy, and even poetry and humor. Many of my books, written in a calculated political language, became best sellers and attracted nation-wide attention.  

In 1985, I was forced to serve in the military, the military that humiliated and tortured me for years. I was labeled a "dangerous foot soldier" by the generals. Soon after my military service, full of memorable events, I was arrested once again for the first volume of my best-selling book Interesting Questions. I would not give up my dignity by exhibiting the apologetic attitude recommended by my lawyers. Despite my first-hand knowledge of grim conditions of Turkish prisons, I defended my intention, belief and ideas. My defiance cost me six more difficult months in prison.   

Meanwhile a paradigm change in my religious and political understanding had taken place during my last months in the military service. I began reading of a great modern-day Islamic author who contradicted everything I had been taught--laws and theories which I had in fact, been promoting through my articles, books, and political activities. I began corresponding with the author in America and in 1986I received his ground-breaking book which had a powerful theological argument rejecting all traditional teachings that were created to supplement the Quran. After studying his argument, I was convinced that Islam (submission to God), the religion of all messengers, including Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad, had been vastly distorted by Muslim clerics.   

I found myself on a threshold, intellectually, morally, emotionally, politically and economically. My brother, who was charismatic young leader of the same political movement, had been martyred by Turkish Nationalists at 21; scorched by "survivor's guilt", I had undertaken his legendary mission. My uncles and cousins have been influential politicians over the years; we have had one or two representatives to the Turkish National Congress in the family since my childhood. I was one of a few authors in Turkey able to earn a living from best-selling books; I had tens of thousands of loyal readers, fans and friends in Turkey. With every conceivable obstacle in my way, I distanced myself from my previous writings, publicly questioning the traditional Islamic beliefs held in Turkey and by Muslims worldwide. The sectarian Islam needed a radical reformation.  

As I anticipated, my new intellectual position created disappointment, feelings of betrayal, and shock waves among my family members, comrades, friends and readers. My father, a well-known and influential religious scholar, wrote articles publicly denouncing me and declaring that he disowned me. Most of my friends became instant enemies. Magazines and publishing houses that had competed to publish my works now denied me the right to defend myself against an onslaught of accusations. No one dared to publish any further work from me. I lost my family, my friends, my profession, my popularity, and security. I was transformed from being a hero to being a vile in the eyes of the religious segment of Turkey's population. In official records I was a "dangerous dissident," and in the fat was of Muslim scholars I was an "apostate," and in the eyes of my family and friends I was a "traitor."  

I had to escape. I decided to immigrate to the country which I used to condemn in my speeches, articles and poetry as the Great Satan!  

When I escaped from Turkey in 1989as a31 year-old immigrant, I left all my belongings behind, including my photo album and high school diploma. I came here with almost nothing. I had to begin again with almost everything. I had to improve my English, my fifth language. Soon, I decided to pursue a college degree, partially as a psychological 'revenge' against those legislators and judges who banned my right to higher education.   

I did not determine my undergraduate majors after consultation with an advisor or on the basis of arbitrary choices or because of financial considerations. They were the result of self-discovery, in fact, re-discovery. At the beginning of each semester, I used to go to the bookstore and spend a day browsing among the shelves. Then I would register for classes that interested me. Those classes that I did best in directed me towards Philosophy and Near Eastern Studies. During my college years, I worked part-time jobs, and wrote several books in both English and Turkish to promote the reformation of Islam and a Copernican revolution in the realm of theology.  

To be a lawyer? It never crossed my mind until four or five months before applying to law school in 1995. How could I have a positive perception of the law? I could not speak my mother tongue (Kurdish) because of the racist law of my country. I could not express my religious and political beliefs because of the law. I could not continue my higher education because of the law. I spent years living with mice and cockroaches because of the law. I was insulted and beaten by the officers enforcing the law. I was a mild opponent, but the law and police turned me into a bitter one. I saw the law as a clandestine tool in the hands of a corrupt government, a government of the elite, baptized by so-called democratic elections. Lawyers were collaborators and pawns of the oligarchic institution. Attorneys were either disguised vultures, or angelic faces of the brutal beast.  

However, things have changed dramatically since I immigrated to the United States. I have yet to find a police officer interested in interrogating me because of my different opinions or beliefs. None have threatened my life and assaulted me on the streets because I was an "apostate." I have also changed. I am not colorblind anymore. I can see or at least imagine a spectrum of colors between white and black. I have learned that the law and lawyers can provide society with a substantial degree of justice and peace. I have also learned that the law and lawyers, like all other human institutions and professions, are not immune to bias and corruption. Yet I do not regret my defiant attitude in the martial court when I was misguided yet honest young activist.  

In fall of 1994, after taking a graduate course in the Philosophy of Law and working as an intern in pretrial services in the Pima County Jail, I started considering law. I was fascinated by Bentham, Russell, Miller, Foucault, and Bourdieu. I found that I could combine my philosophical curiosity with my socio-political interests through law. I could use my experience and diverse background to offer original ideas and solutions for certain legal issues. Learning "The Terrible Truth About Lawyers" did not change my mind either, since I was confident of my character and priorities in life.   

I believe that lawyers should not confine themselves to endless pages of liturgy. Social, political, economical and cultural aspects of contemporary societies are important components of law. A lawyer should study all those aspects and integrate them with law. I am not interested in becoming a judge whose concern is merely the implementation of existing rules, or an attorney who is obsessed with winning cases for his clients. And, of course, I do not have appetite to add more words to the directive of the U.S. Department of Agriculture on cabbage pricing, which once weighed in at 15,629 words.  

As a lawyer with a multi-cultural background, rich personal experience, a creative personality, and enormous ambition regarding economic and political justice and peace for all humans, I continue writing. To advocate reformation in Islam and other religions... To expose the backwardness and disastrous nature of the man-made religious teachings...To advocate democracy and freedom of expression... To advocate human rights, especially of women and ethnic minorities....  

Thank God, after years in exile, my books are again being published in Turkey and I am participating in public debate son current political, social, religious and legal issues via publication, internet and occasional TV interviews. Public interest in my controversial mission has recently been surprisingly positive. The daily e-mails I receive from the visitors of my web site make me optimistic about the future.